Hahaha!

  Hey Sis! I didn't ruin the tuxedo - I SOLD it!

  *raspberry*

Names

  Us warlocks tend to think about names more than other people. Names are important to us. You know a demon's name, you can summon that demon. That's why we always get the same ones, not like mages with their generic nameless elementals. (That's 'cause of the difference between demons and elementals, y'see, where demons are individuals and elementals are just sort of facets of one big natural force... anyway.)

  Names of places are important too. Revealing. Well, some of them anyway. A lot of places got 'named' when the person making the map pointed at something and asked a local "what's that?" ...and since they were usually talking to someone who didn't know their language well if at all, a lot of places are called something like "I don't know, what?" or "Your finger, you fool!" It could even be something like "Piss off and stop bothering me, you weirdo!"

  And then there are the places which so obviously deserve a particular name that the mapmaker doesn't bother asking a local, and just writes down the first word that comes into their head. Like... Winterspring is frikkin' cold. Desolace is frikkin' desolate. I'd be willing to guess that Hillsbrad has some hills somewhere. And the Barrens might as well be called the Borings.

  You guessed it. I got sent to the Barrens. Damn apothecary couldn't walk the stupid worg heart here by himself... eh, he's paying me. There is frikkin' well NOTHING HERE! Dead grass and flat land and the sun beating down on you and that's IT. Can't even take a break under a tree 'cause every bit of shade here is already inhabited by things with big teeth. Oh sure, there's an oasis or two, but you gotta fight centaurs and hyenas and so on to get to the water, and then you gotta strain the huge snapping turtles out of it before you can drink any. Sheesh.

  Whatever. I'm gonna make my delivery, get the heck outta here back to somewhere with some green in the scenery, and keep a lookout for anywhere called LockLootLode.

I don't believe this.

  Look what I found in the mail this morning.  My da-- blo-- lovely big sister opened ninety-three friggin' Easter eggs to get me this outfit.  "Now you can't say you don't have anything nice to wear when I ask you to escort me somewhere," she says.

  Relatives.  You can't live with 'em, and you can't sacrifice them to nameless eldritch gods... not when they're your big sister you can't, at least.

Fine

  I'm gonna punt that imp.

  Anyway... forgot to mention that I ran into Mel's friend Mel. (My sister Melindrava's friend Melissa, that is.) She's not dead yet, and I don't reckon she'll be with the Scarlet Crusade for much longer - I was puttering around Tirisfal Glades killing the annoyances and I overheard her captain yelling at her for not "pursuing her duties with sufficient enthusiasm". Translation, she wasn't killing undead enough.

  Heh. Guess running into Sis kinda upset her...

Wokka wokka wokka wokka!

Boss is mean.  He makes me firebolt the bad guys and then get hit while he stands there and picks flowers.  But he likes Zhar'grave better now so I get to nap, hahahahahahaaaa!

- Jaknam

Busy, busy...

  I'm not a diary addict the way my sister is.  She blows her nose, she writes about it in her diary.  Me, I'm probably going to ignore this unless something BIG happens.

  I figure becoming undead and discovering I can be a warlock counts as big.  Heh.  This is fun.

  So anyway, my sister goes undead, our parents die, and I decided stuff this.  Life as an orphan sucks.  I coulda wormed my way into another family no problem, but with everyone in our village terrified of the Undead Plague and the Scourge what sorta life would that've been?  Poor and hungry and hiding all the time, that's what.  I figured, if you can't have a good life where you are, switch sides... so that's what I did.  Broke into a house where a family had been boarded up to die and stayed with them until I knew I'd caught the Plague.  Purely selfish motives.  Sure, I brought them water and stuff, but that was just to maximise my contact with them.  I ain't soft.

  Definitely ain't soft now.  Forget the blond curls and big blue eyes (they were useful but oh well), now it's kinda greenish hair and no eyes.  Beats me how I can still see, but if it works don't knock it.  Who cares... I'm working on getting my own way through intimidation and dark powers now, and the whole no-eyes look works for that.  Had to kinda strap the back of my head back on when I woke up undead, too.

  'Course, I didn't know I'd wake up Forsaken instead of Scourge.  Didn't know the Forsaken existed.  Good thing I ended up where I did, though, 'cause being Scourge would be even more of a pain than being alive and poor.  AND I get to be a warlock!  Now I'm feared instead of fearful (not that I was ever the scared type) and I've got my minions Jaknam and Zhar'grave to put the fear on anyone who doesn't wanna play.

  Zhar'GRAVE.  Heh.  Great name for an undead's minion.  I like that, and he whines less than Jaknam anyway.  "Is this REALLY necessary?"  Yes, now shut up and fry that guy, I want his loot.  "This was not in my contract!"  Oh yes it was, I made sure.  It's your job to take one for the team, i.e. me.  Zhar'grave just says things like "It will be done."  Much better.

  Well, gotta go kill werewolf thingies now.  A warlock's work is never done.

Heh.

Ha!  It worked.  I knew it would.